I can see Russia from my house!

"I've stands all I can stands and I can't stands no more"
-Popeye

Finally, I leap into blogging. (Thanks, Ho-cakes!) Eventually – right around November 5, I’m hoping – this blog will become another "hey, look at what the cat did today" photo blog. A kind of LOLcats-meets-Dooce-at-4:20 thing. (Possible first topic/photo essay: Is my cat making sculpture out of clumping kitty litter?)

But right now, because I can't stand one more second of the moronic drivel coming out Sarah Palin's moose hole, I have to be a little more pointed. She is a threat to our future national security (because she knows nothing of it), she is devoted to her apocalypse-how pastor that wants to convert the Jews and "cure" homosexuals, and she's the queen of pork while preaching against earmarks. Oh, and the former meth-lab mayor of America. Will someone please ask Miss Congeniality about "last days" - preferably on camera? (As if the avalanche of nonsensical syllables coming out of her on Katie Couric wasn't embarrassing and damning enough...) The Huff Post does a much better job than I ever could. Now, go, be horrified.

Let me be clear: of course I don't wish senator McCain any ill. (He's a veteran, for chrissakes!) But even that worn out corduroy blazer of an essayist Garrison Keillor says to look at the actuarial tables on a septuagenarian that has had three bouts with cancer. That old soldier won't make it through 4 years, not with the stress of being president. Hell, he already looks like the "after" shot. (And frankly that goiter on his neck was freaking me out during the debate. HD is not kind to the infirm.) Anyway, we’re definitely looking at Future President Palin. If that doesn’t freak you out, check your EEG. You may be in a coma.

Even my Word spell check suggests “Pain” for “Palin.” Is this Bill Gates’ tacit endorsement of Obama? I think we can safely say yes.

Lastly for politics this morning, and for the love of Krispy Kreme, will someone please shut Bill Clinton up? He thinks Palin is intuitive and a natural. Am I the only one who can see that she's just the sort of stupid cow that he likes to fool around with? Paula Jones with hair relaxer and an Uzi? Bill, take a month in Tahiti! I have friends that can totally hook you up! See you in January at the Ball…