In case this becomes a crazy cat lady blog, I suppose I should
introduce the cats. I'll spare you the history, for now,
but suffice it to say this is my second set of cats
since college. I'll get into history at some other point.

First, Little Ricky, named because I already had the fabulous
and recently-widowed 13-year-old Lucille Ball o' Fur.
No, she wasn't orange. Anyway, Little Ricky
was born in 2001, right around Christmas. Such a little cutie:

Add a loads of cat food, wait a year or two, and you get Big Richard
(Same cat, same remote, for scale):

So Lucy dies of old age, and that can mean only one thing:

KITTEN TIME.

I track down a little silver tabby, and I name her Katie.

I start thinking that Katie's awfully small for 10 weeks
so I count back and realize I've got a 6-week-old kitten on my hands.
(It seems the daft-cow of a hippie that neglected to spay her
3 female cats was really high or bad at math or both.)

Spay and neuter, people, really.

But since she was covered in fleas when I got her,
I figured she'd be better off staying put with me.

I mean... LOOK at her, she was the size
of a friggin' BEANIE BABY, people!

She got used to her new home,
she tried different ways to find comfort.
I swear Ricky would have started lactating
if he could, sweet boy that he is.
He totally tolerated her suckling on him,
or was too mystified by it to do anything.

Maybe he liked it? I don't want to know:

(Hard to be sure what a cat is thinking,
but "WTF?!?"probably isn't far from the truth.)

Anyway, they settled in. Clearly:


Katie has turned into a trash-talking killing machine,
bringing home birds of all shapes and sizes.
Sadly, she can catch hummingbirds.
Happily, she's really good at bringing them home alive
and I am really good at getting them away from her.

And she also enjoys helping me make the bed:


Ricky hasn't changed a whisker.
Dinner is the single most important
event of his day.

Even as a little guy, he used to wait
for the chicken to come out of the oven:


Ok, perhaps I'd better get back to work.

Then HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!


all photos © 2008 Gretchen Rollins.
Unless you're from LOLCats, then just let me know,
because I have a TON of stuff for you.

:(

What a hunk, what a humanitarian, what a loss.

I can see Russia from my house!

"I've stands all I can stands and I can't stands no more"
-Popeye

Finally, I leap into blogging. (Thanks, Ho-cakes!) Eventually – right around November 5, I’m hoping – this blog will become another "hey, look at what the cat did today" photo blog. A kind of LOLcats-meets-Dooce-at-4:20 thing. (Possible first topic/photo essay: Is my cat making sculpture out of clumping kitty litter?)

But right now, because I can't stand one more second of the moronic drivel coming out Sarah Palin's moose hole, I have to be a little more pointed. She is a threat to our future national security (because she knows nothing of it), she is devoted to her apocalypse-how pastor that wants to convert the Jews and "cure" homosexuals, and she's the queen of pork while preaching against earmarks. Oh, and the former meth-lab mayor of America. Will someone please ask Miss Congeniality about "last days" - preferably on camera? (As if the avalanche of nonsensical syllables coming out of her on Katie Couric wasn't embarrassing and damning enough...) The Huff Post does a much better job than I ever could. Now, go, be horrified.

Let me be clear: of course I don't wish senator McCain any ill. (He's a veteran, for chrissakes!) But even that worn out corduroy blazer of an essayist Garrison Keillor says to look at the actuarial tables on a septuagenarian that has had three bouts with cancer. That old soldier won't make it through 4 years, not with the stress of being president. Hell, he already looks like the "after" shot. (And frankly that goiter on his neck was freaking me out during the debate. HD is not kind to the infirm.) Anyway, we’re definitely looking at Future President Palin. If that doesn’t freak you out, check your EEG. You may be in a coma.

Even my Word spell check suggests “Pain” for “Palin.” Is this Bill Gates’ tacit endorsement of Obama? I think we can safely say yes.

Lastly for politics this morning, and for the love of Krispy Kreme, will someone please shut Bill Clinton up? He thinks Palin is intuitive and a natural. Am I the only one who can see that she's just the sort of stupid cow that he likes to fool around with? Paula Jones with hair relaxer and an Uzi? Bill, take a month in Tahiti! I have friends that can totally hook you up! See you in January at the Ball…